Playing ping-pong... I am engaged!

 As the years have gone by in my walk with Papa God, I sometimes wondered why there wasn't more "ping-pong" action going on, more closeness, more togetherness. I was longing for this constant connection, this close walk and not the occasional bumping into each other shortly and then getting on with life (on my own, as it often felt).

Then I realised the secret about playing ping-pong! When the ball comes "pinging" towards me, I have to "pong" it back! I became aware that God was actually giving me so many signs and hints along the way... sometimes a word through someone else, a sign in nature, even a dream at night... And what did I do with it most of the time? I got excited that God had thrown a ping-pong ball at me and held on to it, as if I was scared to lose it again, instead of playing it back to Him and engaging with Him through it! 

Papa God is so relational! He loves to be close to us, walk with us and speak with us all the time as we are walking in His purposes for our lives. He will keep playing the ping-pong ball to us, longing for us to play it back so we can enjoy a game together! Playing ping-pong is just a metaphor here really. God longs to communicate with us, every day, all the time! And there are so many ways He longs to do this! He is very inventive and create, you know! :-)

So next time a ping-pong ball from God is flying my way, I want to engage! I want to play it back and see what happens! I want to ask questions. I want to search it out. The more I will do this, the more skilled I will become in playing ping-pong, I'll have more amazing and thrilling games with my Papa in heaven. And when I decide to start a game of ping-pong with Him, I know He'll respond. And as I'm doing this, I will realise that, rather than God engaging in my life, I am engaging in HIS life!

Our being engaged with God shows we are preparing for a wedding, after all! :-D

Pink pelican

 When I went to school, I was an outcast. I was hated, despised, ignored, ridiculed and abused. If you are asking me at which of the schools I went to, I have to reply: All of them! I am not one of those who think back of those "good old school days" nostalgically. I hated school, and it felt like prison to me.

Now... what does this have to do with grace? 

I find that God is the best at healing even a painful, ugly and shameful past that can't seem to be made undone. Especially not the heart-wrenching memories that sneak up on you at will.

Just as I was reading through the blog of a lady that has inspired me in my walk with God over the years, I stumbled across something that might mean nothing to most people. To me, it was a healing God-nudge. A gentle touch of grace.

The lady blogger put a picture on her blog of herself petting a pink pelican. While thinking that this was a really cute picture, I suddenly stopped - and remembered. 

I remember that day at school. I was giving an answer to my teacher in a context I don't remember, but I do know that I meant to say "pink flamingo". For some reason I mixed up birds in my head and said "pink pelican", and the whole class exploded in mocking laughter. "Pink pelican, hahaha! How stupid..." Now, if you're wondering why I was so "touchy" - a silly 'mistake' like this would be thrown in my face for weeks or months on end, to point out how terribly stupid I was. This was only one of many occasions, but it was one more puzzle piece to a very sad picture of my everyday life as a school girl.

Now I was sitting here, staring in unbelief at the pink pelican picture. And to make sure I wasn't looking at a plastic bird by accident, I googled "pink pelican", and - lo and behold - they do exist! :-)

Yes. I do feel laughter arise! While thinking I had mixed up the two birds, said something wrong by accident and made a fool of myself (yet again!), I was saying something right. Pink pelicans do exist! My God was watching the scene those years ago, smiling knowingly because He knew I was right and they were wrong. I don't feel like executing revenge on those kids who were just looking for another reason to mock the class fool. (Had the class fool been someone else - I might have done the mocking myself!) 

Nope. No revenge. I'm just feeling like Papa God hasn't forgotten that little, yet painful memory. I can see Him smiling so warmly at me. He looks at me and sees no fool. He looks at me and loves me. With one little gesture He has deleted yet another sting in my heart. May all mockers and former class fools experience that loving grace. It's releasing joy and peace. I'm so rich.

Born to fly!

 In the last days, we could hear increasing screams from our rooftop just above our little flat. As we live only 5 walking minutes away from the sea, we realized that a seagull baby was living on our roof, fast growing in size and volume. We hear its little feet go "tap-tap-tap" as it's walking around on the roof, sometimes it even chooses to sit on our bathroom skylight, which reveals the "baby" is actually relatively grown up, only the colour and the voice is still quite distinguished from proper adult seagulls. It's so interesting to observe how the parents, who cared for their baby so well for a while, keep flying off for longer periods of time - not so much to find food for their child anymore, but actually to encourage it to be brave and making an attempt to fly so it can leave the roof it has known for about six weeks now. The cries of the baby sound quite desperate at times, I'm sure it must feel abandoned and doesn't quite get why the parents who have so wonderfully looked after it all this time are now refusing to feed it and leave it to it's own devices on that roof more and more.

But - there is a whole big world out there! A world full of adventures, beautiful views from the air, a sea full of delicacies to feed on... and the parents know this! They know and they don't want their child to miss out! After all, they can see it's now big enough to use those amazing wings. The wind is ready to do its part to lift the little grown-up and carry it higher and higher...

Do you feel like God is abandoning you where you're at, and that the spiritual food you were used to is no longer being provided in the measure it was in the past? Maybe Father God can see how you've grown and matured with excitement, and now He is taking off and beckoning you follow Him, to leave your very familiar spot on your "roof" to see what more He has to show you "out there". You may feel like the roof you're on is the safest place in world, as far as you can see now, the views from that spot are pretty good - why risk loosing what you know in trying to use wings you have never used before? After all, you might fail! You might fall! What if you do and can't get back up on your roof again?...

When Father God calls you and encourages you to fly, He only does this because He knows you are capable of flying, and because YOU WERE MADE TO FLY! Will you spread your wings and let the wind of His Spirit take you out to sea? Out to see? Leave the familiar... leave what you have known! It's time to fly!