"Kiss me when I'm clean"

Today when I wanted to go take a shower, I went to the bathroom passing by my hubby who already had his shower. He was smelling fresh and nice - other than me ;-) . When I was walking by him, he sent me an air kiss - and feeling "unworthy" of a kiss before getting clean myself, I smiled and replied: "Kiss me when I'm clean." 

Just when I had spoken the words, something happened. Maybe it was Jesus whispering a bit of wisdom into my heart. Don't know about you, but I sometimes feel like I need to fix everything and be all sorted out and "clean" and nice before getting close to Jesus. Maybe it's because of certain teachings I heard, maybe it's because I just don't want to be embarrassed in front of God because I am still a sinner, still full of mistakes and failures. In Luke 15 we're reading something else, let's see how the father received the prodigal son: (v. 20 - 22) So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.' 

If we are reading the whole story, we know that when the father kissed the son, he just came back directly from the pigs. Not the most pleasant fragrance. And surely the son didn't look clean either. The father could have said: "Son, nice to see you, I'll forgive you and kiss you, but please take a shower first, no idea where you've been but you stink!" 

When Jesus tells us to come to him, he says it knowing that he's the only one who is capable of really cleaning us. So there's no sense in even trying to clean ourselves - we can't. Jesus doesn't want us to be all fixed and clean when we come to him. 

Hebrews 4:16 "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

walk on it - a poem

walk on it 

when jesus found me 

i was drowning

in the waters of despair

he sent his love down

and pulled me up

into his loving care

just to put me back

into the waters

deeper and deeper

step by step

so i would learn to swim, to dive

his holy spirit leading me

instructing me teaching me, reaching me

when i was in danger or drifting too far

when jesus taught me

i was scared and thought

that i would fail

but he kept cheering me on

until he lifted off the veil

when i learned to swim, to dive

and thought "wow, this is great"

ready to lean back and relax

cos i thought i'm through

the lesson is learned

now i'm fianlly there

but suddenly i heard his voice

calling me to the waters again

and when i asked,

"what's left to do"

the answer was:

"now walk on it"

Trees in the wind

Today in the morning I went for a walk in the forest to relax and to talk to God... I was sitting somewhere between the trees, touching the leaves, smelling the wood, enjoying the rays of sunlight tingling me through the treetops. And I was listening to the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, moving their needles and branches and leaves. It was very peaceful and nice. 

Suddenly I was thinking: "The wind makes strange sounds... no wait, it's no the wind. It's the leaves that make the noise because the wind is moving them." I am not a scientist, but I am sure that without a tree, a house or a person standing "in the way", the wind wouldn't make the sounds it makes, not so loud, or at least not exactly in that way. The things the wind is passing by, through, the things it moves on its path, are showing us that the wind is there. When we stand in the wind, our hair moves, we feel it on the skin. Wind is invisible. But these trees in the forest made it visible to me. 

 The Holy Spirit is often described as a wind. "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." John 3:8 

The Holy Spirit is looking for "trees" He can move - He is looking for us to open up, to let Him in and do all that He wants. He wants us to be moved by Him so others can see His presence and the effect it has on our lives. The fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) will only be visible if we constantly allow the Spirit of God to move through and in us. We can't tell Him how to move in us, just as we cannot command the wind when and how to blow. If we limit the Spirit, we limit God. If we limit God, we limit all good things God has prepared for us, and what He longs to do through us. As for me - I want to be a tree in the wind of God!

Becoming an infant soldier

Yesterday night I watched a program about child soldiers in Libera, and it really left me thinking very deeply. First of all, it's important to informed about this issue - it's just horrible to imagine that these kids had no real childhood, no love, no protection... When the kids in this program were interviewed and spoke about what they had done it was almost not possible to believe they had really done such things (I'll not go into detail about that now). 

The children being interviewed stayed in a camp where they were supposed to be rehabilitated. One of the social workers said something very interesting that led me down a completely different train of thought. He said: "Children are very good soldiers! They don't ask why, they don't fear risks - if you tell them to do something, they will do it! They won't think twice, they won't hesitate - they'll just go for it and do everything you tell them to do. That's why it's so effective to use children as soldiers." 

I think I have now understood a bit more why Jesus said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3 

We are to be soldiers in the army of God. We all have a place on the spiritual battlefield, but it cannot be compared with the battles we mean when we talk about war in this world: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12 

So, we are to be soldiers in the army of God - yet Jesus tells us to change and become like little children. How does that go together? It's goes very well together, in fact it's the best combination to live an authentic Christian life and to be effective in our walk with God! Remember? "Children don't ask why, they are not afraid, thinking about risks, they just DO it!" 

When Jesus tells us to do a certain thing, we need to learn to just do it, trusting the Lord 100% without discussion and asking why and what for. A true soldier of Christ with the heart of a child is relying on the God who is wise and good and who knows all things, and who has a purpose and reason for every command and instruction He is giving us. 

Don't let your thoughts and worries and concerns bring you to the point where you prefer to stay passive (out of fear or doubt) instead of going forward with and for God! Just do it! You can really trust your heavenly Father, He has considered all the consequences long before He asked you to do a certain thing. He is love! He really is good, and yes - we have a job to do! Earth is not just about waiting in a queue until we're in heaven. Earth really is a battlefield, but we know we're going to win in the end for sure. Make the decision today to become an infant soldier - a soldier of God with the heart of a child.

Take up your cross?

I often wondered what it really means - this scripture: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23 

It surely means something different for every follower of Jesus. When everything is perfect and easy, then it's also easy to say "Yes Lord, I will surely carry my cross to follow you". God wants me and my husband to go to England, which means I'm going to leave behind my home country, my family, my friends, my language, my favourite coffee, my favourite bread... and who knows what else? Our move will happen at some point over the next few months. We are following God's lead, His plan. It's awesome and wonderful - and painful at the same time, because my mother is very ill and the last thing I actually feel like doing is leaving her right now. 

I'm asking God during this time: "Why do you send us away right now, when my mum is so ill?" Or: "Why does my mum have to be so ill at all?" I don't know the answer to that, but whenever I think that, what comes to my mind is the above mentioned scripture. This is my cross, this is partly denying myself - denying things I love and that I am used to. 

Letting go so I will be able to follow the trace of God in this life of mine. It's hard. It costs a price. It's a cross. But I'm saying yes. Because Jesus said yes too. He carried the cross for me. Carrying the cross isn't glorious. But the outcome will certainly be.

Everything for eternity

Eternity is unlimited, it has no beginning, no end, no borders, nothing to frame it, hold or control it - except God! God has control over everything. Time and "space" has just been created for us to have orientation in this world and life, otherwise we would be completely helpless and lost. We are measuring and planning our lives according to the clock, the calendar, and the borders and rules we live under (day and night, our physical bodies etc.). Time is just hung up in eternity as some sort of illusionary framework for us. In the Bible in the book of Ecclesiastes we read: "Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before, and God will call the past to account." The past, present and future is in front of God equally, He sees everything at once, and "a thousand years in God's sight is like a day that has just gone by..." (Psalms 90:4)

We need to understand that we were created for eternity, not only for this world of limitations. We need to understand that what we call our "life" is just a tiny little snippet in eternity. Yet it matters incredibly, and we are created for a purpose we need to fulfil. Every day counts, all we do counts, it's not a rehearsal - this is real. Yet we need to understand that it's all just preparation for eternity. We should consider the shortness of our lives, but understand that much can be done for eternity every day - if we walk and work together with God!