Pink pelican

 When I went to school, I was an outcast. I was hated, despised, ignored, ridiculed and abused. If you are asking me at which of the schools I went to, I have to reply: All of them! I am not one of those who think back of those "good old school days" nostalgically. I hated school, and it felt like prison to me.

Now... what does this have to do with grace? 

I find that God is the best at healing even a painful, ugly and shameful past that can't seem to be made undone. Especially not the heart-wrenching memories that sneak up on you at will.

Just as I was reading through the blog of a lady that has inspired me in my walk with God over the years, I stumbled across something that might mean nothing to most people. To me, it was a healing God-nudge. A gentle touch of grace.

The lady blogger put a picture on her blog of herself petting a pink pelican. While thinking that this was a really cute picture, I suddenly stopped - and remembered. 

I remember that day at school. I was giving an answer to my teacher in a context I don't remember, but I do know that I meant to say "pink flamingo". For some reason I mixed up birds in my head and said "pink pelican", and the whole class exploded in mocking laughter. "Pink pelican, hahaha! How stupid..." Now, if you're wondering why I was so "touchy" - a silly 'mistake' like this would be thrown in my face for weeks or months on end, to point out how terribly stupid I was. This was only one of many occasions, but it was one more puzzle piece to a very sad picture of my everyday life as a school girl.

Now I was sitting here, staring in unbelief at the pink pelican picture. And to make sure I wasn't looking at a plastic bird by accident, I googled "pink pelican", and - lo and behold - they do exist! :-)

Yes. I do feel laughter arise! While thinking I had mixed up the two birds, said something wrong by accident and made a fool of myself (yet again!), I was saying something right. Pink pelicans do exist! My God was watching the scene those years ago, smiling knowingly because He knew I was right and they were wrong. I don't feel like executing revenge on those kids who were just looking for another reason to mock the class fool. (Had the class fool been someone else - I might have done the mocking myself!) 

Nope. No revenge. I'm just feeling like Papa God hasn't forgotten that little, yet painful memory. I can see Him smiling so warmly at me. He looks at me and sees no fool. He looks at me and loves me. With one little gesture He has deleted yet another sting in my heart. May all mockers and former class fools experience that loving grace. It's releasing joy and peace. I'm so rich.