The essence of life

What is the essence of life, the very substance of our existence?

It must be more than mere matter, more than wood, stone and glass. It must be more than light or darkness, gravity or air, blood or skin. Deeper, higher, richer in content than everything touchable, and yet untouchable for our hands.

The things that matter most to us, are shapeless - love, pain, joy, passion, compassion - and yet they shape our souls, express themselves without a clearly defined image, still so undeniably.

Putting God - the Creator and the very essence of life indeed - into a shape, box or frame - is absurd and reflects our human foolishness, puts it on shameless display.

God is beyond - and yet so close. Higher, greater, stronger, holier, more loving, more compassionate, more of everything... and yet His breath flows through us, inside of us... beyond oxygen and carbon dioxide... our spirit already knows this.

It was made to love Him.

God doesn't want employees, but children!

When you're looking at a job advertisement, most of the time the first thing you read is the description of the position. Then you'll find the essential requirements that are necessary to fulfill the role, and without which you don't even need to consider applying.

For some reason, sometimes we do slip into acting like employees towards God, thinking about all the requirements we need to fulfill, especially when we are watching other "super Christians" who seem to "have it all".

Putting it into a job advert form, we could picture something like this:

Description of position: Being a Christian, respresenting God in this world at all times, 24/7, being an embassador of Christ, holy, perfect and righteous in every way.

Requirements:

• Friendly, loving, kind, patient, joyful, humble
  
• Always striving for peace
• Hard-working, praying at all times
• Healing the sick, raising the dead
• Always putting everybody else first
• Preaching the gospel at every opportunity
• Being thankful in every circumstance
• Denying yourself and taking up your cross daily

If you're like me, you'll probably think: I will NEVER meet these requirements perfectly as long as I live on this earth. I don't match up with those high standards, I'm not able, I'm not worthy...

But hey - wait a second:

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God...

(John 1:12)

Wow... this sounds good. So much better than being an employee!

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends... (John 15:15)

Amazing, I'm a friend of God? That reminds me that - even in the job world - you sometimes are lucky enough to get a position you don't qualify for, when you have a relationship or personal connections with the boss. And this is how it works with God. You don't get to be His child by "matching the requirements", which you'd never ever meet anyways, but Jesus has made the way so you have the privilege of relationship!

And yes, a boss wouldn't necessarily let His employee come very close to Him and inform Him about all the confidential stuff... But a friend, or a child gets to know all the secrets, and receives insights employees could only dream about!



How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1 )

Ok. So - this is what I need to remind myself of. I might not be a perfect child, but I'll make every effort to be a better child every day so Dad is even more proud and happy. But if I do fail, I know I won't get "fired" - because I'm still a child who is loved, and I get another chance!

I'm a child, not an employee! And that's good, really good!

Be who you already are!

There may be times when we feel like we are not performing as well as we think we should.

Maybe, we can't help but think:

"God has done so much for me, but I'm failing so many times... I just don't deserve his forgiveness. I need to do better, try harder, so I'm worth being called 'a child of God'."

But listen, Ephesians 2:8 says: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."

You can not earn being a child of God by performing well - it is grace! Pure grace!

You might be a "work in progress", and yes, there might be some things that God needs to change in you - like in all of us - but right now, just as you are, you are a child of God, if you have accepted the sacrifice Jesus made for you on the cross.

So, just stop for a moment and simply BE - be what you are already:

God's child, fully loved.

Buy now, pay later!

Nobody is perfect when it comes to finances, and we can all improve the way we spend our money. Of course we should not be tight and hold on to our money as if it were the ultimate protection shield to save us from any kind of crisis. On the other hand, we need a lot of wisdom and calculative sensitiveness on how to spend every single quid - it all adds up.

One thing which I never felt comfortable with is the way how it is possible in our western culture to spend even the money we don't (yet) have - and we are not talking about the "smaller" stuff here! We're talking about TV's, computers, cars and even houses that are bought with money that is not yet in our hands. Sign the contract - feel powerful! And don't bother reading the small print, just the usual formalities! Buy now - pay later!

Isn't it strange that in such cases, we will always end up paying more than the actual value of what we purchased in the first place? I am not intending to boycott today's methods of purchase and sale, but it made me think further.

When we see stuff in this life - even non-material things - that we really want to have, the last thing we need is an invisible, but tempting tag that comes with it: Buy now, pay later...

I do feel like rolling my eyes when I hear yet another sermon on "resisting the pleasures of this life", presented in a religious, dusty language, but this is about the real stuff in life! I have come to learn that, as I am not the most patient person on planet earth, I have often been in such a hurry to want certain things without bothering to think about the price plus interest - but sooner or later, I was being confronted with the contract I signed when getting the thing I wanted here and now.

Buy now, pay later... When your "later" becomes your "today", it is often a bitter pill to chew on, when you wish you could just swallow and get it out of the way. We can't change the past, but we can from now on choose to ask God for the wisdom and patience to rely on His timing for the things we desire.

Maybe we should ask ourselves:

Why do I want this particular thing so much? Why do I feel like I can't wait? Do I have the expectation to live a happier and more satisfied life if I am getting this thing now, which means: Do I rely on having this thing now for my happiness, instead of finding joy, peace and satisfaction in God's love?

The wall and the sledge hammer

As I sat in church some weeks ago, I had a conversation with God. I told Him about some circumstances that seem like a massive wall in my life at this time, blocking the way to bigger things I want to do with and for God. As I sat there, desperate and passionate at the same time, I said to God: "Lord, I am so desperate about this thing. This wall seems too big and strong and tall - I wish I could just take a sledgehammer and break it all down violently! I just want to move on and I don't want to wait any longer!"

Suddenly, before my inner eyes, the whole scene changed, as God was whispering His response into my heart.

"There is another way to get rid of this wall. And it is an even better way! If you let me, I will help you take this wall down, brick by brick, piece by piece. If you're using a sledgehammer, you will destroy all the bricks. But if you will work together with me, we will take this wall down, which will take a lot of energy and patience. But when we've done that, you will see that there is a rift right behind where the wall once stood! Then, we will use the bricks to build a bridge, a stable and strong one that you can walk over to cross the rift. But that is not everything - there will actually be other people who will be using the same bridge that you and I have built together!"

Sometimes, all we want is to escape the difficulties that seem to stand in our way, because it's just been too long, and this wall really looks so big! But if we allow God to take over, He will create something useful and very strong out of the very thing that seems to hold us back right now!

How does prayer work?

Don't we sometimes wonder, what prayer really does, if it works, and - if so - how? When our prayers are answered quickly, we don't take the time to think much about it. At times we might thankfully receive our answer, help or solution and praise God for it. But, if you are like me, many of your prayers won't be answered right away. And I am not saying that there is a way we can understand prayer fully or define it clearly. Most of all, it matters that our prayers are pointed to the right person, rather than the words we are using, or whether we are standing, sitting or kneeling. Jesus is a person, and He is the one our prayers are to be addressed to. Prayer is not a method or a religious ritual, it means "talking to God", basically. But prayer is more than mere conversation! It activates God to move on our behalf. If our lives belong to God and our hearts are genuine, He will do everything to work out the best for us. Prayer allows God to get involved in our lives and take over, and to answer the prayer in His way - which is always the best anyway - and His time. And God's timing is perfect. I have had times where I prayed for the same thing over and over again, without seeing a result. And I wondered: Does it make any difference at all, if I keep praying for this issue? Does God not listen? Sometimes, when we are praying, it's like cutting a key into the right and perfect shape to open an specific door. It's a process that can take many steps and quite a long time, depending on how complex the lock is. Some doors need brand-new keys because they were never opened before! As we keep praying without ceasing as the Bible says (1.Thessalonians 5:17), we don't always see the process with our human eyes because it's happening in the spirit! But our prayers do have an effect, and if what we are praying for is a) the will of God and b) good for us and / or others, we will one day hear God say: "My child, the key is ready! It has got the right shape now! I am putting it in the door for you, and all you need to do is use the handle - and the door will swing wide open!"

Faith needs expectancy!

Philemon 1:22 "And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers." 

When Paul writes these words to Philemon, he is behind prison bars, not the most pleasant place to be for a mighty man of God. For sure he must have felt limited or down at times, he didn't even have a TV, newspaper or anything else to entertain him there. But this statement that he makes here is quite amazing. Although his circumstances are not looking very positive, he puts faith into the prayers of his fellow brothers and sisters, and he hopes and expects to be released as the answer to their prayers. So, he asks them to prepare a guest room for when he is going to come. There is no place for "in case God doesn't move, what are we going to do then..." 

Faith doesn't have power if it's focused on chance, or on people, or feelings. But it is amazingly powerful when it's invested in God who created heaven and earth. And it becomes even more powerful if we are putting action and expectancy into it. We are doing our part, we are taking the first step, because we are expecting God to move and answer our prayers, and the prayers of others. This doesn't mean that we are trying to make things happen ourselves. But it shows God that we are counting on him, not just with our words or thoughts, but with our whole being. And it releases God to respond to our trust, and to move in power. 

Where does your faith need some expectancy added to it?

"Tiredness can kill - take a break!"

Here in England, every once in a while you see a road sign next to the motorways, which says: "Tiredness can kill - take a break!" It probably caught my attention in a special way because in Germany, my home country, or other countries I've been to, I had never seen such a sign. It is quite a strong statement, but it is very true. 

Some people, especially truck drivers and those who are on the road on a regular day basis and for long travels, are in constant danger of falling asleep, even if it's only a second or two, getting themselves into big danger, as well as others. You cannot function properly when you are tired. You cannot keep yourself out of danger when you are exhausted, worn out and suffer from a lack of sleep. On the road, and elsewhere, too. 

 Last week, I did not get the amount of sleep I needed in order to feel comfortable, fresh and energetic at work. At the end of the week, I was very tired, annoyed with everyone and every little thing, and I bet it wasn't that nice for the others to be around me as well. 

If we are extremely busy, rushing here and there, doing one thing, then making a visit, doing our work, taking care of our homes etc., we need to take out times to rest, to relax and upload our batteries. You can make your time of rest even more complete and effective, if you unload your worries, stress, frustrations and tensions at God's throne, His mercy seat, so you can receive inner peace, strength, comfort and healing. 

 Without times of rest, and without letting God restore you on a regular basis, you can become so worn out in the end, that it can make you sick - and eventually kill you, spiritually and otherwise as well. Don't let this happen. Enter God's rest, focus on Him, and you will feel the difference. And be sure, people around you will, too. 

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God." 

  Hebrews 4:1 "Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it."

Watching others graze

 

How does it feel when you are standing in front of a green, lush meadow, smelling the sweetness of all the flowers growing there - you are standing there and you just want to walk right on. Suddenly you realize that there's a high fence between you and this wonderful meadow. You are trying to climb over it, to remove it somehow, you are sweating, making efforts and wearing yourself out, just trying everything to reach this meadow... 

While doing that, you see others simply walking on it, filling their empty stomachs, lying down on the meadow, enjoying the sun shining down, the soft breeze on their skin. You can see their happy faces. Their satisfaction, their joy. You want that, too! You want it so much! You are wondering: "What entrance are they using? How did they get there? Why are they allowed to enjoy this and I can't?" 

 This is just a picture of how I felt for a long time. I had a dream. I had a vision. My heart desired to move forward for God, to serve Him, to step out of the ordinary and just to make a difference, advancing His kingdom. While I was trying to get involved in all kinds of things I thought would fulfil exactly that goal, I was watching others doing exactly what I wanted to do. I saw them enjoying it, I saw them working in the areas I really wished to work in. I saw them traveling, exploring new territory geographically, spiritually... and all I could do was: Watch. Watch. Sit. Wait. Watch. It was a hard place to be in. 

Hardly anyone could understand how I felt. I believe today with all my heart that God has a reason for everything. He knows when, how, what, with whom etc. He knows which lessons we need to learn, and which training is the best for us to be a useful tool in His hands once He is moving us on. We might not always understand. 

I don't fully know all the things I had to learn, the reason why I was just able to "watch from a distance" for quite a while. But God knows. He's all-knowing. He doesn't mess things up. We're too precious for Him! And where ever we see ourselves right now: Watching and waiting, being "right in there, doing the stuff", God doesn't keep a distance to us. Never ever. He'll be close to us, while we are "on the shelf", and He'll stick with us while we're "in use". 

I think the mistake I really made was, focusing too much on the meadow I couldn't approach, focusing too much on the fence, while Jesus was beside me all the while, waiting for my attention, waiting for me to learn the lessons, to listen to Him, to receive from Him right where I was. 

While on the shelf: I want to use the time to focus on Jesus, to enjoy the time with Him, which will make it much more endurable. When I'm "in use": I want to make sure I am not getting too involved and too busy not to spend time with Jesus, because that'll make me weak - too weak to give my best for God. And it might even result in putting me back on the shelf!

Coffee Evangelism

I'm a German, living and working in the UK. We Germans have strange habits, such as eating "hard, heavy bread" and drinking "strong, black coffee". When it comes to coffee, I am not willing to make compromises. I especially love the all famous (at least in Germany :-) ) Senseo coffee pads (no worries, I am not getting paid to say this). Nothing compares to the fragrance that spreads around the room when the coffee slowly fills the cup. Once the cup is full, the creamy top just invites you to take the first sip while being flooded with the delicious aroma and taste. I just LOVE it! After one cup, all tiredness is gone, I feel refreshed, satisfied and a biiiig smile settles on my face. Oh yah, that is what good coffee can do. It gets even better if I am able to share the coffee with a close friend, having a nice chat, talking about the silly or deep things of life.

As there is a Senseo coffee machine in the office (God MUST have inspired someone to buy it JUST for me in advance, I am the only one who is using it), I am always going to the Marketing department, getting my treat for the day. And as the weeks went by, I slowly got more people wanting to have a "real" good German coffee, not this instant, tasteless stuff... The good stuff!!

What made people want to try my coffee? They wouldn't know in advance how good it is! And what makes them want to have more once they tried it?

Well... This is what we call "coffee evangelism"! First there is someone, doing something odd. Using a weird looking machine. What would that be for? And these strange coffee pads... Hm. Then, when the coffee is prepared, they smell the aroma... Hmmmm. Wow!! That smells just wonderful! So intense and good and... then they see what's in my cup. Looks delicious too. Creamy top, tempting. And then they see the effect the coffee has on me. Puts a biiiiig smile on my face, revives me, refreshes me, gives me this special look in the eyes... And if I just add a few comments about how much I enjoy it, they're nearly there!

And when they are tired in the morning or after a heavy lunch, all I need to do is remind them that I have this really delicious coffee that would surely wake them up and help them - besides the fact that it is sooo yummy!

Finally, the first colleague said: "Ok, I'll try." And she tried. And said: "Hm... You were right. Wow. It's so good!!" And of course I had to prepare an extra coffee for her the next day! And this is how it really happened, in the end I needed to prepare coffee for quite a few colleagues, but I was happy to do so, because I knew the coffee would do for them what it did for me.

Sounds a bit overdone to you? It's just coffee!!

Well, absolutely right. But I am pointing something out here!

This is how it's supposed to work with us Christians, too! Spreading the sweet aroma of Jesus! The fragrance! Showing what Jesus does in our lives, how He affects us and how He helps us and puts joy into our hearts. Adding some words of truth and encouragement in the right moment... And be sure people are going to be drawn by what we have!

Let them come!

Let them come!

Oh you shaky knees
stand firm, will you!
What do they have
against you?

Your massive fears
are only placebos
stop wasting time
it's just not real.

Sound a barbaric clamour
let them come!
Those who are marching out
against you
they are marching out
against the LORD of hosts!

And oh no, it's not
because you're good or strong
it's not what you own
neither anything you could have earned
achieved, deserved or learned

but it's just for the LORD's great mercies
His love and patience for you
and what He did through His SON

so don't you tremble
don't you fret
hold your head up high

and when they're here
you simply say:

"I belong to the SON
so let them come!"

Isaiah 42:13 "The LORD will march out like a mighty man, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies."

"Kiss me when I'm clean"

Today when I wanted to go take a shower, I went to the bathroom passing by my hubby who already had his shower. He was smelling fresh and nice - other than me ;-) . When I was walking by him, he sent me an air kiss - and feeling "unworthy" of a kiss before getting clean myself, I smiled and replied: "Kiss me when I'm clean." 

Just when I had spoken the words, something happened. Maybe it was Jesus whispering a bit of wisdom into my heart. Don't know about you, but I sometimes feel like I need to fix everything and be all sorted out and "clean" and nice before getting close to Jesus. Maybe it's because of certain teachings I heard, maybe it's because I just don't want to be embarrassed in front of God because I am still a sinner, still full of mistakes and failures. In Luke 15 we're reading something else, let's see how the father received the prodigal son: (v. 20 - 22) So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.' 

If we are reading the whole story, we know that when the father kissed the son, he just came back directly from the pigs. Not the most pleasant fragrance. And surely the son didn't look clean either. The father could have said: "Son, nice to see you, I'll forgive you and kiss you, but please take a shower first, no idea where you've been but you stink!" 

When Jesus tells us to come to him, he says it knowing that he's the only one who is capable of really cleaning us. So there's no sense in even trying to clean ourselves - we can't. Jesus doesn't want us to be all fixed and clean when we come to him. 

Hebrews 4:16 "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

walk on it - a poem

walk on it 

when jesus found me 

i was drowning

in the waters of despair

he sent his love down

and pulled me up

into his loving care

just to put me back

into the waters

deeper and deeper

step by step

so i would learn to swim, to dive

his holy spirit leading me

instructing me teaching me, reaching me

when i was in danger or drifting too far

when jesus taught me

i was scared and thought

that i would fail

but he kept cheering me on

until he lifted off the veil

when i learned to swim, to dive

and thought "wow, this is great"

ready to lean back and relax

cos i thought i'm through

the lesson is learned

now i'm fianlly there

but suddenly i heard his voice

calling me to the waters again

and when i asked,

"what's left to do"

the answer was:

"now walk on it"

Trees in the wind

Today in the morning I went for a walk in the forest to relax and to talk to God... I was sitting somewhere between the trees, touching the leaves, smelling the wood, enjoying the rays of sunlight tingling me through the treetops. And I was listening to the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, moving their needles and branches and leaves. It was very peaceful and nice. 

Suddenly I was thinking: "The wind makes strange sounds... no wait, it's no the wind. It's the leaves that make the noise because the wind is moving them." I am not a scientist, but I am sure that without a tree, a house or a person standing "in the way", the wind wouldn't make the sounds it makes, not so loud, or at least not exactly in that way. The things the wind is passing by, through, the things it moves on its path, are showing us that the wind is there. When we stand in the wind, our hair moves, we feel it on the skin. Wind is invisible. But these trees in the forest made it visible to me. 

 The Holy Spirit is often described as a wind. "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." John 3:8 

The Holy Spirit is looking for "trees" He can move - He is looking for us to open up, to let Him in and do all that He wants. He wants us to be moved by Him so others can see His presence and the effect it has on our lives. The fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) will only be visible if we constantly allow the Spirit of God to move through and in us. We can't tell Him how to move in us, just as we cannot command the wind when and how to blow. If we limit the Spirit, we limit God. If we limit God, we limit all good things God has prepared for us, and what He longs to do through us. As for me - I want to be a tree in the wind of God!

Becoming an infant soldier

Yesterday night I watched a program about child soldiers in Libera, and it really left me thinking very deeply. First of all, it's important to informed about this issue - it's just horrible to imagine that these kids had no real childhood, no love, no protection... When the kids in this program were interviewed and spoke about what they had done it was almost not possible to believe they had really done such things (I'll not go into detail about that now). 

The children being interviewed stayed in a camp where they were supposed to be rehabilitated. One of the social workers said something very interesting that led me down a completely different train of thought. He said: "Children are very good soldiers! They don't ask why, they don't fear risks - if you tell them to do something, they will do it! They won't think twice, they won't hesitate - they'll just go for it and do everything you tell them to do. That's why it's so effective to use children as soldiers." 

I think I have now understood a bit more why Jesus said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3 

We are to be soldiers in the army of God. We all have a place on the spiritual battlefield, but it cannot be compared with the battles we mean when we talk about war in this world: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12 

So, we are to be soldiers in the army of God - yet Jesus tells us to change and become like little children. How does that go together? It's goes very well together, in fact it's the best combination to live an authentic Christian life and to be effective in our walk with God! Remember? "Children don't ask why, they are not afraid, thinking about risks, they just DO it!" 

When Jesus tells us to do a certain thing, we need to learn to just do it, trusting the Lord 100% without discussion and asking why and what for. A true soldier of Christ with the heart of a child is relying on the God who is wise and good and who knows all things, and who has a purpose and reason for every command and instruction He is giving us. 

Don't let your thoughts and worries and concerns bring you to the point where you prefer to stay passive (out of fear or doubt) instead of going forward with and for God! Just do it! You can really trust your heavenly Father, He has considered all the consequences long before He asked you to do a certain thing. He is love! He really is good, and yes - we have a job to do! Earth is not just about waiting in a queue until we're in heaven. Earth really is a battlefield, but we know we're going to win in the end for sure. Make the decision today to become an infant soldier - a soldier of God with the heart of a child.

Take up your cross?

I often wondered what it really means - this scripture: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23 

It surely means something different for every follower of Jesus. When everything is perfect and easy, then it's also easy to say "Yes Lord, I will surely carry my cross to follow you". God wants me and my husband to go to England, which means I'm going to leave behind my home country, my family, my friends, my language, my favourite coffee, my favourite bread... and who knows what else? Our move will happen at some point over the next few months. We are following God's lead, His plan. It's awesome and wonderful - and painful at the same time, because my mother is very ill and the last thing I actually feel like doing is leaving her right now. 

I'm asking God during this time: "Why do you send us away right now, when my mum is so ill?" Or: "Why does my mum have to be so ill at all?" I don't know the answer to that, but whenever I think that, what comes to my mind is the above mentioned scripture. This is my cross, this is partly denying myself - denying things I love and that I am used to. 

Letting go so I will be able to follow the trace of God in this life of mine. It's hard. It costs a price. It's a cross. But I'm saying yes. Because Jesus said yes too. He carried the cross for me. Carrying the cross isn't glorious. But the outcome will certainly be.

Everything for eternity

Eternity is unlimited, it has no beginning, no end, no borders, nothing to frame it, hold or control it - except God! God has control over everything. Time and "space" has just been created for us to have orientation in this world and life, otherwise we would be completely helpless and lost. We are measuring and planning our lives according to the clock, the calendar, and the borders and rules we live under (day and night, our physical bodies etc.). Time is just hung up in eternity as some sort of illusionary framework for us. In the Bible in the book of Ecclesiastes we read: "Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before, and God will call the past to account." The past, present and future is in front of God equally, He sees everything at once, and "a thousand years in God's sight is like a day that has just gone by..." (Psalms 90:4)

We need to understand that we were created for eternity, not only for this world of limitations. We need to understand that what we call our "life" is just a tiny little snippet in eternity. Yet it matters incredibly, and we are created for a purpose we need to fulfil. Every day counts, all we do counts, it's not a rehearsal - this is real. Yet we need to understand that it's all just preparation for eternity. We should consider the shortness of our lives, but understand that much can be done for eternity every day - if we walk and work together with God!